A Clean Plate; Sleepless in San Francisco; The New Year Post

Clearing my plate of the well-gnawed bones of 2012 and piling up some new resolutions and goals...

2013. Thank God it’s not 2012. Jk jk. 2012 was a bit difficult at moments, but it was a year of many firsts, many mistakes, and many lessons. So I guess thank God for 2012.

I must say though, I felt a panoply of positive emotions when 2013 arrived- relief, refreshment, and rejuvenation. I woke up in a bed of freshly cleaned sheets after an exhausting, slightly chaotic and champagne-splashed NYE night, ready to start the new day and the New Year. Last New Year’s Day, I spent a wonderfully relaxing day of fresh air, homemade hummus, and poetry-reading with my dear friend Danika and her sister, Anya, who you may remember from my WestOakland Dinner Post. This year, Danika was in Sweden, participating in an amazing Youth Initiative Project, on her way to making a significant difference in the world, so Anya and I were on our own. We started off with a late lunch of dim sum takeout- char sui baos, baby bok choy, taro cakes, etc., which we ate by a little lake in a lushly green park in the Richmond District.

Afterward, we took a walk along Land’s End, and Anya proposed we do a ritual for the New Year. I wasn’t too surprised, considering she wanted to have a "witchy" party based on the lunar calendar and hosted an all-women séance-y gathering one night (love it!). Her idea was to take an object- leaf, rock, stick- imbue it with something from the past year that we didn’t want to take into the New Year, and hurl it into the ocean. Then we thought about something to invite into 2013.

Once we brainstormed and discussed, she decided to throw away fear and invited in boldness while I chose to throw away weakness and invite in resolve. She hopes to step out of her comfort zone more often and embrace her silly side, and I hope to stand up to people who try to take advantage of my kindness and stay true to goals that I make for myself. As we stood on the edge of a cliff overlooking the Pacific, with the Golden Gate Bridge on our right and the setting sun on our left, I felt a sudden surge of strength and happiness as I flung my weakness over the edge of the earth.

With the sea air in our lungs and the images of the sun hitting the ocean’s edge in our minds, we ended the day with tasty tacos from the Mission and a cozy movie night, watching Sleepless in Seattle, a cute Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan romantic comedy directed by Nora Ephron about a man (Tom Hanks) who moves with his son to Seattle after losing his wife. Depressed and forlorn, the man worries his son, who seeks help from a psychologist on the radio (so old school!). When the psychologist asks the son to put his father on the phone, the man describes his love for his late wife so beautifully that women all across the country fall in love with him, including Meg Ryan, a woman recently engaged to someone she’s not sure she loves completely. Basically, Tom and Meg barely see each other, but somehow seem to be destined to be together. They don’t meet until the end of the movie at the top of the Empire State Building (like in An Affair to Remember- a Deborah Kerr-Cary Grant romance that served as inspiration for the movie). Though the movie sometimes contains the cheesiness of a typical Rom Com, it was a hopeful story of intuitive love and life after death. I felt moved by it, because it was quite relatable for me. The last year and a half, I’ve attended five funerals of significant people in my life and though they’re saddening, I’ve discovered strength and inspiration in hearing about these loved ones’ lives and a newfound resolve to live my life with purpose and passion and love. Though this may mean some sleepless nights in the city, at least I’ll know that I’m filling my hours with living and loving.